i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got inside last night via doggy door
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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