just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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