Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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