The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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