sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think your dad took our porno
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
