You smell like stripper and shame
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize