She said her name was "party"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
