so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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