He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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