Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
