There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
