It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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