I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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