Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In other news, I just burned my penis
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
