There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
