They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
