the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
