I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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