I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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