I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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