a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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