I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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