its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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