The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
