you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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