We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
