No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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