Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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