were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize