A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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