I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
