i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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