so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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