Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
