We're like a lot better than the average bears
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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