nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
