Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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