This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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