I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
