I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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