Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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