Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
