dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
