Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
