i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
