Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
