Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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