So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
