I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
vagina is talking i cant
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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