I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We talked him into tasing himself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
