i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
