I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
