i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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