No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
