I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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