I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
