Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
