Kiss
Puke
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
