Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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