Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
