Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
