I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
