PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
