You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I smell like Dick and happiness
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
