i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
