you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
