we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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